ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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