As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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