I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
