sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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