Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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