I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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