Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
