That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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