I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I still have a little drunk in my system
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
