she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
