Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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