You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
