In America we eat man semen.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
