No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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