Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
