before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
