Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
