I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
