yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
