ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
