I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
