he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
