Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
