Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
