32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
