I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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