She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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