when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
