MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
