I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
