Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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