My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This is my gift to your gina
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
