I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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