now i know why i became what i already was.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
