I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
