i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
