So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
