I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
