Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
