ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
