Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize