I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
