Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
