Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
