what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
