I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
