im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
