well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
