I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
