We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
