Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
