I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
