Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
