where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
