I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
