so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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