Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Text me some of your sweat
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize