Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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