3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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